It's Going to Be a Great Day

“It’s going to be a great day.”

This has been my motto every day for the past month or so now.  It all started one morning when I strolled downstairs to the breakfast table at Antioch (the house I live in with Saint Paul’s Outreach at Ohio State).  It’s not easy to wake up at 6 AM most days of the week and feel joyful doing it, but this particular day was different.  My heart was singing a song of joy and gratitude.  My SPO brothers immediately broke out in grins and eyerolls that screamed, “Here we go again.  Cory’s being goofy.”

This same attitude continued for the remainder of the week.  By the next Monday, I didn’t feel the same joy that made it easy to be optimistic about the day before it even started.  Regardless, I put on a smile and said, “It’s going to be a great day.”

Shortly after, I helped lead a Life Teen retreat with a parish I routinely serve at during the school year.  Before any teens had arrived, everything that could go wrong did go wrong.  There was distress and heartbreak.  My natural response after offering whatever assistance I could was to remind the youth minister, Maggie, that it was going to be a great weekend and this wouldn’t change that. 

The next week, waking up joyful was nearly impossible.  I was tired, stressed, and overwhelmed with schoolwork and other responsibilities.  As I rolled out of bed, I caught myself thinking, “This day is going to be awful.” Immediately after, I corrected myself.  “It’s going to be a great day,” I said. 

I share this story because God has blessed me tremendously the past month and taught me an important lesson that I think all Christians can learn from – the lesson of choosing joy whether you feel like it or not. 

Christian joy is powerful because it is both an incredible outward witness to those we encounter each day and an anchor for our disposition towards Christ.  Yes, joy is an emotion and emotions are fleeting.  However, an authentic encounter with Jesus should spurn in our hearts a gratitude for who He is and all He has done for us.  In this sense, joy becomes a decision reflecting praise for how the Lord has worked in our lives.  Joy for the Lord is a contagious joy.

When I make the conscious decision each morning to say, “It’s going to be a great day,” this doesn’t imply that I feel good about the day; rather, it’s an outward projection of my faithfulness to Christ and my decision to be grateful regardless of the trials I may face that day. 

Sirach 2:1-2 says, “My child, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials.  Be sincere of heart and steadfast, and do not be impetuous in times of adversity.”

This is the heart of our decision to live joyfully each day.  God promises us that we will face hardship.  Some days are more difficult than others, but we are called to remain steadfast – that is, to stand firm – in our resolution to follow Christ, especially when things do become challenging.  We show God our level of commitment to Him by how we respond to adversity. 

Another important lesson I've learned recently is the influence our first decision each day has on the outcome of our day as a whole.  If, as disciples, our first thought each morning is one of pessimism and disdain, odds are the rest of our day will be affected by this initial thought.  It makes the meaning of "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" a reality for us. 

I understand not everyone is a morning person and by no means am I implying that a single negative thought means someone is in the wrong.  I do, however, think it is something to be consciously aware of as we go throughout our day.  Ask yourself periodically: Is my heart oriented towards Christ or am I giving too much power to the desires of the flesh which are contrary to those of God's (Galatians 5:17)?

I leave you with a few lyrics from a song written by a good friend of mine that reflects a heart oriented toward God in good times and in bad:

            "Waking up singing that song on the radio,

            Never gonna stop singing praise to the Father who,

            Gave His only Son so that I could be made new.

            Never gonna stop, never gonna stop.

            Jumping up and down with the joy that's inside of me,

            Singing this song, a love for eternity,

            How could I ever deny what's a part of me?

            Never gonna stop."

Choosing joy every morning is rarely the easy thing to do, but Christ conquered death and gave us the freedom to rise above the temptation to be bitter and have a negative outlook on life.  He desires for us to choose Him even when the inclinations of our flesh would rather we focus on ourselves. 

Remember, it's going to be a great day.   

Forgive and Forget: Leaving Habitual Sin in the Rearview Mirror

One of my favorite things to do is go on long road trips. Over the course of the past year, I’ve made two trips from my hometown of Sandusky, OH to Life Teen’s Camp Covecrest in Tiger, GA. It’s a little over 600 miles and takes 10 or 11 hours. During all of my trips, I’ve had the great pleasure of traveling with a good friend I met at the beginning of my first journey to Georgia. Despite being “stuck” in a car together for 10+ hours on a handful of occasions, we loved every minute. It’s an opportunity to talk about life, have a few laughs, and prepare for arrival at a new destination. Whether we’re driving from Ohio to Georgia or back to Ohio, we always agree on one principle: We want to get there as fast as possible. It’s not that we don’t enjoy each other’s company – we definitely do – but we anticipate the final destination and want to minimize the time between the start and end. We’re focused on the road ahead.

The Christian faith walk is similar to a long road trip in many ways. There’s a starting point, a road ahead, and a final destination. At the micro level, our lives with Christ have many new starting points representing each time we’re convicted to grow in a particular virtue or area of our lives. The road ahead represents the challenges and obstacles we will face along the way, the grace God gives us on the journey, and energy required to transport us from point A to point B. Finally, we arrive at the destination. However, the destination does not signify an ending point. Rather, it’s a moment of reflection that reminds us what can be accomplished with God and reason to begin a new journey.

Of course, this is a very simplified and optimistic view of the Christian walk. We all know it is much more difficult than getting into a car and driving somewhere. Sometimes, our car breaks down and we don’t go anywhere. Other times, we may decide the destination requires too much sacrifice on our part and turn around. Even worse, we often focus too much on what’s holding us back from a deeper relationship Christ. We keep our eyes fixed in the rear view mirror, especially the sins we’ve committed that seem to creep back into our lives, in hopes of keeping those things behind us. While this seems well-intention, there’s a worry about focusing on the past: we miss the present.

Sometimes, I think I’m the biggest sinner that has ever existed. I get frustrated with struggling with the same sins over and over again. I run to confession every time I commit a sin in hopes that this time I’ll receive some miraculous grace and instantly become a saint. When I don’t run to confession, I buy into the lies that God somehow doesn’t love me because I “disappointed” Him. Eventually, someone comes in at the perfect time and reminds me of a simple truth I often forget: God forgives every sin I commit the moment I feel remorse for having committed it. Yes, Reconciliation is a great sacrament and is absolutely necessary for Catholics, but unless an individual is in a state of mortal sin, going every time a person so much as has a negative thought about another person isn’t essential and can sometimes even be a poor habit. The opposite of not desiring forgiveness is being overly scrupulous.

In my experience, scrupulosity is often a result of being unable to forgive myself for doing the inevitable. I desire to be a saint, but I’m nowhere near perfect and neither were they. We’re humans with emotions and passions which sometimes get the best of us. The most important thing after asking God for forgiveness is forgiving ourselves. After all, He has already forgiven us. Shouldn’t we offer the same kindness to ourselves?

I believe the evil one likes to use our desire for holiness against us. Especially for Christians who are very passionate about their faith and relationship with Jesus, we can sometimes fall into a trap of believing that by focusing on not committing a certain sin, we can avoid it and achieve holiness. This is especially bad when it comes to sins we continually fall victim to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried so hard to avoid being prideful that I back myself right into being prideful….about not being prideful. Pretty ridiculous, isn’t it? I focus my attention in the rearview mirror on all the times I’ve let my pride get in the way and try so hard not to let it happen again that I don’t see the brick wall I’m about to drive into. This is exactly what the evil one wants. He wants us to be so laser-focused on being perfect that we actually become blinded to all the imperfections in our lives. I’ll be the first to admit, I have countless weaknesses keeping me from growing closer to Jesus, but I focus 80% of my attention on 20% of my sins and ignore all the rest. Even then, I’m so focused on NOT SINNING that I miss the point: Jesus loves me and desires the same in return.

You see, the point of Christianity isn’t to avoid sinning. The point of Christianity is a relationship with Jesus Christ and inviting others into that relationship. The heart of the issue with a habitual sin isn’t the sin itself, but the trigger – what’s really at the heart of the matter. In order to truly free ourselves of these routine sins, conversion is required. Conversion transforms our hearts to further mimic God’s heart in our day to day lives. Jesus is our example of God’s heart. Prayer is absolutely essential for this conversion to take place. If pinpoint focus on avoiding sin is Satan’s strategy to influence our decisions, prayer is God’s blueprint to understanding his heart and transforming ours to be more like His.

Every day is a battle for the truth Jesus Christ offers. We cannot hope to win the battle – and certainly not the war – if we do not arm ourselves with this truth. We’re hopeless to live holiness and avoid sin if we’re defenseless in battle. In the series Band of Brothers, Lieutenant Winters is a steadfast example of a courageous leader in battle, but his leadership would suffer if he only focused on the pain of yesterday and all the men lost in war. Those things matter, but Winters cannot allow them to define his outlook on today. The same is true when we slip up. It’s important because it keeps us humble, but we’re hopeless if we let sin define who we are as sons and daughters of God.

Praying for you as you pray for me.

Cory

            

God's Word Transforms Us

Growing up, there was nothing I hated more than someone telling me that my parents wanted what was best for me right after being told me I wasn’t allowed to have a certain toy or go to one of my friends’ houses. It made it even worse when my parents were the ones reminding me that they only had my best interests in mind. Like most young children, this is where a tantrum would unfold.

“That’s not fair.” “I never want to see you again.” “I hate you.” These are just a handful of the things I would scream to voice my displeasure. It seemed every time I didn’t get what I wanted, there was a reason for it. I was tired of hearing the same things over and over again, especially as I got older. In my mind, the older I became, the more acceptable certain behaviors would become and the more likely I would get what I wanted. While this was true to some extent, it certainly wasn’t a universal rule of thumb. I kept hearing the same things over and over again.

Eventually, as I entered high school and my spiritual faith came into my life again, the age-old things I was told as a child merely turned into “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12) or “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you” (Luke 6:31) . I kept hearing the same things continually, but never had a reason why they were important except that they were supposed to help keep me out of trouble. Most of the time, they seemed to have no effect. I rarely if ever saw the fruits from obeying them, at least not immediately.

As my spiritual life has matured over the past few years, I’ve encountered a lot of similar situations. Often times, I’ll be praying through scripture and read the same common phrases over and over again. In times of desolation, my household brothers and mentors will tell me the same things continually. In my head, I sometimes think, “Yeah, that’s great. I’m glad that worked out for you, but I’ve tried it a million times and it has gotten me nowhere.” Extreme desolation has even led me to wonder if the path I’m on is even worth following.

While praying one afternoon, all these phrases and scripture verses kept running through my head. Jesus then led me into the gospels to where He had uttered some of these same phrases to his apostles and those desiring to follow him. Suddenly, pieces started coming together that were always right there, but never clicked in my head.

Jesus repeatedly says similar things not because He has nothing else to say, but because He has nothing better to say. That’s an extremely important distinction. God became man in the form of Jesus because He wanted us to understand that He could relate with us. During times of desolation, we’re not on an island. Evening during times of consolation, Jesus is with us. This is why it becomes so important that we ask God for help during times of trial but not forget to praise Him when He answers our prayers.

So why does Jesus constantly repeat himself? Again, it’s not because Jesus had a list of nice things He was supposed to share and once He reached the end of the list, He just decided to start over again. The truth is Jesus knew how fundamentally important His word was to His people. Think back to a professor or teacher you’ve had who has said multiple times, “You’re going to see this again on the final.” That’s usually a pretty good sign that you’ll need to remember the information and, because it is repeated in class, you’re more likely to remember it.

Jesus’s word is transformative, but only to the extent in which those who receive it are willing to respond. When we allow it to penetrate our hearts, we become new bodies set apart to do God’s will. Those who aren’t receptive of His word will go on with their lives as normal.

Roy Hall, former Ohio State and NFL wide receiver, put it best when speaking to the men of Saint Paul’s Outreach during Barbasol Men’s Night a few weeks ago. He said, “Your thoughts will always lead to your feelings and emotions. Emotions always lead to decisions. Decisions lead to actions. Actions, over the course of time, are habits. Habits, over time, develop your heart, your character. Your character has everything to do with your destiny. [It determines] what you end up doing [and] who you are a person.”

This a striking representation of the effect Jesus’s word has in our lives. He repeats many of the same sentiments so they will eventually become our thoughts. Just as when you hear a professor repeat himself several times in a lecture, when Jesus says the same thing several times, it eventually begins to repeat itself in our minds. This is where the transformation begins. Those thoughts, which are the word of God, inscribe themselves in our hearts, forever changing our feelings and emotions. We become a selfless people. We become a compassionate people. We become God’s people. This new heart changes our decisions and moves us to act in a different way. As we continue to act in the way God has called us, we form godly habits. We no longer need to think about every decision to determine if that is what God wants us to do. It becomes a part of who we are and we simply act upon it.

This formula is how saints are created, but it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't just happen when we are baptized or confirmed. We become more attune to the Spirit in our lives which makes us more receptive of where God is calling us, but it isn't a magical pill. There are no “instant” saints. There are, however, saints who have battled through periods of desolation, temptation, doubt, fear, you name it. What sets these men and women apart was they opened themselves to what Jesus was saying to them and acted.

The next time you read a scripture verse for 100^th time, don’t just assume you know exactly what God is saying. There’s always something else to learn. If nothing else, reflect upon what that verse is saying and ask yourself if you live your life in accordance to it. There’s a reason scripture is the divine word of God. Jesus comes right out and tells us what fundamental principles are necessary in order to become the best disciples possible and eventually become saints. He wants His word to be inscribed in our hearts so that we can be transformed in such a way that everything we say and everything we do points back to Him. 

Christ Will Give You Rest

At the Pfanner household, we currently have two dogs. The oldest is Bella and the youngest is Shadow. I love them both like crazy. If you have or have had a dog at any point, you know what I'm talking about. Nothing beats being greeted every time you come in the house as if you've been gone for three days even though you may have only been gone for ten minutes. It's an unconditional love that dogs just seem natural at portraying.

With my love for my two dogs, however, comes some aggravation when they don't listen to commands. Shadow is prone to this far more often than Bella. But it's hard to be angry at him because he has such a goofy personality. He's been known to go outside to go potty only to spot a bird or rabbit and instead chase them around the backyard. Then, he comes to our back door having not done his business. Just as quickly as he runs to the door, he runs back to the yard as if to say, "Oops! I forgot what I came out here to do!"

I cannot begin to tell you how many times my relationship with Christ has mirrored the image of Shadow's attention jumping from place to place.

I have a very, very sassy side. So sassy, in fact, that close friends have genuinely became angry with me. I also have a tendency to avoid conflict. This becomes a problem when I'm involved in a conversions that stray from holiness and into sin. Even among Catholic friends, I struggle to put the fire out when the conversation turns to gossip or sexual jokes. At times, I get wrapped up in my own pride and desire the attention and admiration of others. All of these things draw my attention away from Christ and leave me with a bitter aftertaste.

Last night was one of those nights when these things happened and I was very aware of it. Disappointed in how I handled myself, I did something I very rarely do: I wrote my prayer out to God. In it, every single sentence began with "I'm tired". I wasn't referring to a physical tiredness or even a mental tiredness, but a spiritual tiredness. I'm tired of preaching the word of God only to have my actions work in contrast far too often. I'm tired of praying for my future spouse and our relationship while neglecting to strive to be a virtuous man of God at all times. I'm tired of giving myself over to Christ only to take my life back as soon as prayer ends and then feeling as though I'm letting God down by my words and my actions which don't always reflect back on my prayer.

As I reflected on my written prayer, the number of times I wrote "I'm tired" began to jump off the page. I reflected on what this meant for my relationship with Christ. As I did, I couldn't stop thinking about Matthew 11:28-30:

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

I'm tired not because I am doing too much but because I'm failing to place the source of life, God the Father, at the center of everything I do throughout the day. It is in Him and Him alone that my strength comes. It is only in Christ that we find true peace and rest. As St. Augustine said, "Thou hast made us for Thyself, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee." Without this source of love, I'm bound to give into temptation and sin.

We cannot live truly Christian lives if Christ is not the source and summit of our daily routine. Every act in which we partake should be an offering to the Giver of Live. Lately, I have found myself exhausted by the ends of my days (and sometimes during my days) and so I make the conscious decision to forgo praying and rationalize that decision. I tell myself I know I'm just going to fall asleep in two minutes so I shouldn't even bother. While this may be true, those two minutes of prayer carry just as much weight as 30 minutes, provided I give Christ my undivided attention and don't intentionally cut it short.

This failure to pray at night may seem inconsequential, but it brings with it much spiritual warfare. Failure to examine our conscious each night, reflecting on what we did well and where we fell short, eliminates any reminder to do better the next day. Without this, it's so much easier to become trapped in complacency and prevents any opportunity to grow in virtue. Furthermore, it becomes difficult to uphold holiness in our lives and the lives of others when we fail to recognize our own shortcomings and resolve to improve upon them, drawing on the grace of our Father to constantly convert our hearts and lead us closer to Him.

As I close, I just want to offer up a prayer and I ask that you would join me, asking the Lord to take away any burdens you may have in order to live more fully in Him where your heart rests:

Father, we offer our lives as living sacrifices for Your name. We pray that we would resolve to live according to the commandments given to us for Your sake and the sake of the world. We ask for the strength to resist temptation and the courage to be true disciples of all nations. Lord, we know that we are sinners constantly in need of Thy mercy. For the times we fail to keep Your commands or we willingly turn our backs on You, we ask for the grace to begin anew, filled with every hope and the desire to sin no more. We thank You for Your unending and unconditional love, calling us to sainthood. Amen.

Running As Prayer

As a runner, I know all too well the struggles and triumphs that come with running. Some days, you hit a perfect stride and can run for 60+ minutes. Other days, you hit the first mile and your legs already feel like bricks. I’ve been a competitive runner for nearly eight years now. I always have and always will enjoy running, but one other constant remains: it’s never consistently easy. The mental battle just to lace up my shoes has single-handedly kept me off the roads countless times. But there’s a great beauty that comes with running, too. Whether you’re running sub-16 5K’s or just putting in a daily mile at the track, everyone has a different reason why they run. My answer has varied and, at times, included a dozen answers, but the last few years, one reason I love running has stood above all else: running and prayer are coequal in a multitude of ways and, to an extent, are interchangeable.

Pacing

Anyone who has ever started up running knows you don’t try to run 6 miles on day one. The first time I started running, I made it about a half mile before I had to walk. Biting off more than you can chew from the beginning is a great way to crush any motivation you have to continue running. Not to mention, setting goals too high early on can lead to a lot of walk-jogging, which is not conducive to competitive running. Whether you’re focused on pace or distance, you have to build it up over time. The same applies to time in prayer. Chances are, if you jump right into morning prayer followed by a holy hour and daily Mass, you’re either going to exhaust yourself or you’re going to be distracted and not completely focused on our Lord. This isn’t always the case, however, so don’t think you’re overdoing it if Christ is moving in your prayer. But, in my experience, you have to build up to more over time.

Discipline

This one is pivotal. Without discipline, both running and prayer fall apart. I already mentioned the number of times the mental battle to run has prevented numerous runs over the years. Taking a day off from running isn’t necessarily bad, especially when your body needs it, but don’t confuse needing rest and lacking discipline. The difference is the latter can keep you off the road for days, weeks, and months at a time. This can cause a vicious cycle as you try to get back into running shape again. The best way to make running “easy” is to continue. When it comes to prayer, I have found discipline and prayer to relate directly. When my prayer life is undisciplined, it becomes dry and my relationship with Christ crumbles. Not because He has failed me, but because I lacked self-control to pray fervently and frequently. Similarly, when my prayer life lacks discipline and I distance myself from God, I find it much more difficult to convince myself that an hour of running is worth it. Conversely, when I talk myself out of my daily run, it become much easier to become lazy and slack off when it comes to prayer.

Perseverance

Nothing in the world can feel more frustrating and deflating than getting to the fifth mile of an eight mile run and hitting a wall. All you can do is grind it out for the last four. Then, you get to come back the next day and do it all over again. Granted, not every day brings about a struggle, but it can and does happen. The best runners understand that those times are where improvements are made, but only when you endure the difficulty. Likewise, prayer has its peaks and valleys which require unfailing faith and a commitment to pray even when things aren’t going so well. Similar to discipline, there is a direct correlation between running, prayer, and perseverance. From my experience, the majority of running is mental rather than physical. Our bodies can achieve things we never thought possible, but only if our minds will allow it. Training your mind to stop when running gets difficult can very easily spill over into our prayer. As soon as we become distracted or tired of waiting for the Lord to speak to us, we’ll have taught ourselves to walk away.

Run is life; prayer is life

If you’re training for weekend 5K’s, I’m willing to bet you don’t just roll out of bed on Saturday morning having no prior training. Competitive running requires daily training, sometimes even twice daily. Moreover, a poor training diet will greatly diminish your end results. The greatest achievements in running come to those who eat, sleep, and breathe running and all that it entails. Being nominally Christian or Catholic (Christian/Catholic by name, but only on Sundays) will hinder your faith and prayer life as well. Showing up on Sunday for an hour does not count as having a prayer life. Being a Christian isn’t an asset or a résumé builder; it’s a way of life. If you are truly convicted in your faith and belief in Jesus Christ, your life should be molded to fit Him in, not the other way around. You’ll never hear of a saint who only prayed on Sundays, just like you’ll never hear of a Boston Marathon winner who only ran on Sundays.

It’s always better when you share it

This is arguable one of my favorite part about being a Catholic who happens to also run: they’re communal. Yes, they can and should include personal time as well, but there’s so much joy in running with a good friend or praying with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Without this, we’d have no one with which to share our struggles and triumphs. Additionally, it’s these relationships which challenge us to take the next step. When I see/hear one of my old high school teammates having success post-college, it motivates me in a positive way to get back into shape or push myself to improve my times. When I see/hear a brother or sister having a spiritual triumph, their witness inspires me to continue fighting my daily battles with certain sins. We are all one body in Christ. To that end, we support each other during the tough times and rejoice in each other’s victories. 

Honoring Him who loves us

Last but certainly not least, running is an opportunity both to honor God with the body He gave us and to be in communion with Him. As a college student, I know how difficult maintaining a regular routine of prayer can be. That is precisely why my love for running has grown over the years. Running always used to be a quiet time of personal reflection. It was an opportunity to think about school, family, friends, and responsibilities without being stressed. Little did I know at the time, I was in essence praying to God. Prayer doesn't need to be a theological masterpiece. Conversation with Christ: The Teaching of St. Teresa of Avila about Personal Prayer hits on this exact point when it emphasizes on the very first page that "mental prayer is nothing else than an intimate friendship". Simply, prayer is a friendly conversation with Jesus Christ. This includes petitions, personal worries, adoration of Christ, thanksgiving, and so much more. Running is the perfect opportunity to give Him praise in our fast-paced society. During the last year or so, I've slowly begun to ditch the headphones and iPhone completely on my runs in favor of mental prayer. 

Boasting in Your Weakness

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes, "He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

It's one of the most commonly used phrases in the Christian circle: "I will boast in my weakness". But what exactly does this mean? What does it mean to "boast in your weakness"? This is one area of my faith I've never fully been able to wrap my head around. For a while, I just thought it meant that we shouldn't be ashamed of the ways in which we feel inadequate. Notice I said feel, not are. However, this semester at OSU, God has slowly been revealing to me a little bit of what boasting in my weakness really means. I don't have a degree in Theology or Catechetics so you'll have to bear with me a little bit on this one.

For those of you who don't know, I'm part of a Catholic group on campus called Saint Paul's Outreach. Their motto is "Catholic faith alive on campus". They're huge on the new evangelization and reaching out to anyone and everyone, but especially those who haven't yet encountered Christ in their lives. I'm a bit of a timid personality at first which makes evangelization difficult. I'm often consumed with negative opinions about myself and how my different quirks will be interpreted by others. It's by far one of my greatest weaknesses and often leaves me afraid of introducing myself to new people. As you might expect, you can't lead others to Christ when you don't even introduce yourself to them.

A few weekends ago, SPO held their annual Fan Into Flame retreat. I attended for the first time. Without going too much in to detail about the weekend, I want to share one experience I had and how I've grown from that and learned to boast in my weakness when it comes to evangelizing. On the second night, we had a prayer meeting that closed with small group prayer. While my group was praying over me, I fully surrendered all of the walls I had built up that kept me from trusting in God's Will and just prayed that He would help me to become a better disciple. At one point, one of the SPO leaders said he thought God wanted me to receive the gift of tongues and asked if I'd be open to it. At any other time, I would have thought, "I guess so but I don't really believe that can happen. Not to me anyway." It turns out I was right. But it was about more than whether or not I would receive that gift. The true grace that night came when I give Him my "yes" with absolutely no reserves and full confidence that through God's power, it was actually possible.

That night is when I finally started to wrap my mind around what it means to boast in my weakness. I had all this doubt about my ability to allow the Holy Spirit to work through me. I focused on all the weaknesses I had which kept me thinking I was less than extraordinary. I doubted God's power to provide for me in the ways in which I fell short. But that night, I boasted in my weakness. I turned to Christ and I said, "God, there is no way I'm capable of doing this myself, but I believe that if I surrender completely to Your Will, there isn't anything I can't do."

This is just one example of what it means to truly boast in your weakness. It's not saying that you are proud of your shortcomings. It's not a way of becoming content with mediocrity. Rather, it's admitting that we aren't perfect and we don't have it all together, but combined with God's Will, His name will be glorified through our actions and through our words. When Paul writes that "I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses", he isn't saying he's happy to have inadequacies; rather, he's rejoicing in the fact that because of those inadequacies, he has the opportunity to bring glory to God.

The fact that we are all flawed human beings is not by coincidence. If you and I were perfect, we'd be God and we wouldn't be glorifying His name. God made us knowing full well that we would never be able to reach His level of perfection, not because he wants us to suffer and wallow in self-pity, but in order to give us the opportunity to unite with his most Sacred Heart and give ours lives back to him. Again, as Paul said, "[God's] grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." We can only reach the level of holiness Christ is calling us to by taking the lives He has given us and giving it right back to Him. We must surrender our entire beings to Him who created us. If we focus on trying to accomplish everything ourselves, we're destined to fall flat on our face time and time again. God's grace is sufficient for you! Once we acknowledge that we do have weaknesses and submit our lives to God, His power will work through us, His sons and daughters, in order conform us perfectly with His Will for each of us.

As I close, I just encourage you to pinpoint the areas of your life that you know you have weaknesses. Maybe you struggle interpreting God's word. Maybe you get uncomfortable when asked to pray out loud with a small group. Maybe you don't have the greatest voice and feel self-conscious singing during Mass or praise and worship. Whatever those weaknesses are, I urge you not to let those weaknesses make you feel inferior. God loves you exactly the way you are. After all, He created you. I promise, if you take those struggles and lay them at the foot of the cross, God will respond in power and majesty. Let us follow in the footsteps of our Blessed Mother when she was called by God: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38)

As always, my readers are continually in my prayers.

Praying for you as you pray for me.

Love Your Sisters: An Open Call To Men

Men are visual creatures. We enjoy aesthetically pleasing electronics. We enjoy watching grown men tackle each other on television. We enjoy anything that we can visually see.

Unfortunately, when it comes to our actions toward women, we’re also visual creatures. It’s no wonder the combination of an immodestly dressed model and a man’s visual senses are a lethal combination and a huge money maker for businesses.

I’ve personally wrestled with whether men are fully accountable for the ways they objectify women or whether it’s a mutual effort. While I do feel we as men shouldn’t harbor all the blame, I do think we should take ownership of having full responsibility for our own actions.

Blessed John Paul II once said, “Christ has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman; and simultaneously, he also assigns to every woman the dignity of every man.” I’m sure this is a quote many of you have heard on numerous occasions. However, I think it’s a particularly important one to mention when discussing our relationships with the women in our lives. Men, our part of the bargain is laid out very simply; we are responsible for protecting and guarding the dignity of  ALL women.

What does this look like? It’s more than just not objectifying them. It’s not stealing glances at the pretty girl jogging. It’s also proving that chivalry isn’t dead by opening doors – even for women we don’t know. It’s honoring them by speaking highly of them even when they aren’t in the vicinity. It’s praying for them on a daily basis. It’s reminding them of their value and worth. It’s being intentional about your actions. It’s telling them they’re beautiful over and over and over again because, frankly, it’s true.

Let’s look back at JPII’s quote. It sounds like this responsibility is a two-way street, right? That’s because it is. However, let’s compare it with the ways a husband loves his wife, a father loves his children, and Christ loves each of us. When Christ died for us, He didn’t just expect us to return that love; hence, we have free will which allows us to decide between returning that love or not. Certainly, this doesn’t mean we’re off the hook and we can just choose to ignore the sacrifice He gave us either. Christ loves each and every one of us with an agape (unconditional) love. That means He’s going to love us regardless of whether we choose to return that love or not. Similarly, a Godly husband loves his wife whether she deserves his love or not. The same goes for a father and his children. This also applies to how we defend the dignity of women.

I used to complain that our struggle with objectifying women stemmed mostly from the way many women today dress and speak and the ads that are thrown in our face every day. But that does not give us the right to overlook our responsibilities as men. Just because a woman makes a conscious decision to dress provocatively (and not all of the women you encounter will even tempt you by dressing this way) does not give us the right to infringe on her dignity. On the contrary, it is our responsibility to hold ourselves doubly accountable for our actions. You know the old adage: “Two wrongs don’t make a right." We can only control our half of the relationship with a woman. Regardless of the response we get in return, we are called to show all women that agape love through our actions and conversations.  No matter if you’re talking to your best friend, girlfriend, wife, or mother, make sure you’re holding up your end of the bargain by respecting and honoring her dignity. We need more men in this world who courageously stand up for their sisters in Christ, whether it’s the easy thing to do or not.

Men, by challenging each other to live lives of heroic virtue and inviting Christ into our relationships with everyone, especially women, we can crush the enemy’s lies and build up a new generation founded in Christ’s love.

I’m praying for you as you pray for me. 

Discipleship: The Middle Man

When I first created this blog a few months ago, I had no idea what I was doing. I’ve never even attempted to take the ways God speaks to me in prayer and formulate actual sentences. If you’re anything like me, your personal prayer is probably far from the most beautiful and eloquent conversations you’ve ever had. That’s the beauty of God and His willingness to have a personal relationship with each of us. He doesn’t expect every prayer you offer up to be presented perfectly. He wants honesty. He wants you in your most raw and tangible form.

This brought up a lot of questions for me when I created this blog. Why would God place this desire on me when I rarely knew what to say in private to Him? How could I possibly translate my nonsensical conversation with Him into a way to glorify His kingdom publicly? I've spent many nights pondering this since my last blog post. During this time, I was reflecting on the URL I choose: venisancte-spiritus. It translates from Latin as “Come, Holy Spirit”. During my reflection, I learned that this name choice was no accident. God was very clearly telling me that this blog is not about how I can glorify His kingdom, but how He can use me to glorify His kingdom.

Mark Hart, the executive vice-president of Life Teen International, tweeted, “I need to quit trying to be the painter...and just rejoice that I get to be a brush.” From the first time I read this quote, I fell in love with it. How true is it? For those of us who have boldly announced Christ as our Savior and are living each day for Him, we’re also on mission for Him. Once you know Christ’s love, you want everyone to experience it. That’s great. But if you’re anything like me, you often get in your own way. Even worse, you get in God’s way. Growing up, society tells us that if we want to get anything done, we have to do it ourselves. That do-it-yourself mentality can hinder our ability to be on mission for Christ. We’re exclaiming our love for the Lord, but we fail to bring Him with us when we evangelize. Instead, we focus on our strengths versus our weaknesses and the areas we need to improve, without welcoming Him into that area.

In some respect, I like to think of myself as the middle man when it comes to discipleship. Yes, I’m the one engaging in conversations with others, but it’s God who’s really doing the work. As Mark said, I shouldn't try to be the painter. I should rejoice that I get to be a brush because I've given Him my yes.

I want to challenge all of us to do three things: First, welcome Christ into your evangelization process. Allow Him to mold you and shape you as you enter into the lives of new people who need to see His love in your actions and your words. Second, get out of God’s way. Instead of focusing on doing it all yourself, remember that you’re not the painter. With that, don’t think you can do it all and don’t put pressure on yourself to do it all. Finally, pray. Your conversations with Christ may seem like gibberish to you sometimes. That’s okay. If you’re giving Him your time, He will help you grow and He will tell you the ways you can become a better disciple.

You will all be in my prayers as you learn to grow in your discipleship. Please also keep me in yours. As followers of Christ, we’re all in this together. None of us has it all figured out which makes praying with and for each other so vitally important.

Praying for you as you pray for me.

Good Intentions

Be real. Be honest. Be you.

One of the most cliche statements I hear almost every day is a rendition of one of the above. When I was in high school, gossiping about Susie or Joe was probably the most commonplace conversation I heard on a regular basis. What was second? The person gossiping exalting themselves for being "real". I think this is one of many examples of what is so wrong with our society today. 

Everyone wants to believe they're a good person. Everyone wants to believe they're different than the guy who just cheated on his girlfriend or the girl who talks behind her friends' backs on a regular basis. As Christians, I think we get caught up in a lie telling ourselves that because we follow Christ, we are better. Sure, we recognize that we aren't perfect, but God loves us and we're working to be better people, right? I would hope so. But are we really working to be better people or are we simply telling ourselves we'll take the necessary steps and then continue to delay action? 

I'll be the first to admit, I've delayed action far too often in the past. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've been watching Netflix before bed and I'm hit with a feeling that I need to pray. What do I do? I tell myself I'll pray before I go to sleep, but it's not "necessary" right this minute. What happens? I fall asleep without a second thought about God. Of course I love Him. Of course I want to give Him my time. But in that moment, I chose myself. I chose worldly desires. I chose the flesh over the Spirit. 

My youth minister, +Brittany Taylor, at Sandusky Life Teen used to tell us, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Think about that for a second. How often do we have good intentions in our hearts, but when it comes time to take action, we let our selfish passions keep us in a holding pattern? We choose comfort. We chose personal satisfaction. 

The concept of good intentions is, I believe, one of our biggest downfalls as Christians. Our decision to chase after God's own heart has filled us with His spirit and desire to love and do good, but have we really committed our lives to loving others and being who God is calling us to be? I think it's time we stop filling this world with unfulfilled promises. As Christians, we should all want to be saints. If there's one thing every saint has done, it's continue to work on being holy each and every day and with each opportunity that came their way. 

As we continue our journey through Advent toward Christmas, I invite each of us, myself included, to really make an effort to take action. Instead of merely aspiring to "Be real", let's actually make an effort to do so. Love instead of simply desiring to do so. Pray instead of simply desiring to do so. Invite God into your life and ask him to use you as His tools to spread the gospel. Cherish the present moment as the gift from God that it is. Chances are, if He places a desire on your heart to pray, He probably has something important to tell you. Don't delay taking action. Be the spark of light in a dark room.

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

Before I begin, I'm a little out of my element. I've never been one to publish a personal blog, mostly because I've never had a need, but also because I've never had anything particularly interesting to say - at least in my opinion. With that out of the way, let's begin.

Who am I? I'm assuming most of the people who read this are people who already know me fairly well, but for those who don't, this is for you. My name is Cory Pfanner. I'm originally from Sandusky, OH, a proud graduate of Perkins High School (Go Pirates!). I'm currently a 19-year-old sophomore at The Ohio State University. I have no idea what exactly I'll be majoring in just yet, but I'm trusting the Lord will answer my prayers in due time. This past February, I was accepted into the Fisher College of Business to major in Logistics. I jumped shipped by the beginning of this semester to pursue teaching, an endeavor I've ultimately decided to walk away from. For the time being, and for the first time in my life, I don't know exactly what to do with my life and I'm content with that.

I consider myself a pretty big fan of Jesus Christ. I grew up in a Catholic family, attended Mass each Sunday (though my family technically went on Saturday afternoons), and went through CCD up until my First Communion. If I'm being honest, I hated it as a kid. Of course, kids don't know any better than to whine and complain about things they dislike. Eventually, my sister and I complained to the point where we essentially forced my parents pulled us out of CCD and we stopped attending Mass altogether. I only stepped foot in a church maybe twice between then and my junior year of high school. Do the math: I stopped attending Mass in 2001 and didn't really come back until January 19, 2011. My junior year of high school, I was drug by three friends to Sandusky Life Teen. Initially, it was kind of nice, but nothing that got me excited about Christ. Over the next year, I was lukewarm in my faith, mostly because I hadn't learned anything about being Catholic when I was younger. In reality, I was the kid who joked around and acted like a brat until I was able to go home from CCD rather than actually paying attention to anything that was going on. Over time, however, I learned so much from Life Teen and Brittany Taylor. By the time I graduated, Christ had stolen my heart for good. Suddenly, a faith I'd never knew was possible was the heart and soul of my life. Prayer, a concept I had no idea of, was suddenly a daily occurrence. My first task upon entering college at OSU was to find a group of Catholics living their faith the way I desired. It didn't take long before I was in the parking lot at Fort Zion during a hog roast for Saint Paul's Outreach [SPO]. From that first night, I knew SPO was a special group. The men and women who live in household and have committed their lives to Christ and missionary work are exactly the people I needed to find on a campus polluted with drinking and smoking. To this day, I'm very involved with SPO, including leading a college Bible study, being involved with the Formation Program, and dedicating myself to spreading Christ's love through the mission SPO brings to OSU.

If there's one more tidbit you need to know about me, it's my passion for running. However, with my first official half marathon (Santa Hustle at Cedar Point) less than a month away, I'll save that for another blog.

I have three hopes for this blog: First and foremost, I want this to serve as an update to those who are interested to know what I'm doing with my life currently. Second, I'd like to believe I can provide some inspiration or encouragement to anyone who is either desperately seeking to find Jesus Christ or who already has, but is struggling with their faith. For those who are, know of my prayers for you every day. I've been in your shoes before; things get better. Lastly, this blog is for for all of those who have yet to come into my life, to serve as a record of where I've been and how I got to where I'm going. Above all, I'm hoping my posts are something I can share with my future wife (if I'm called to be married some day.)

All that being said, please feel free to subscribe to updates or check back every once in a while. My hope is an update every month or so, but it may be more or less frequently.


Praying for you as you pray for me.

Cory

P.S. - Feel free to follow me on Twitter: @pfan_club