Men
are visual creatures. We enjoy aesthetically pleasing electronics. We enjoy
watching grown men tackle each other on television. We enjoy anything that we
can visually see.
Unfortunately,
when it comes to our actions toward women, we’re also visual creatures. It’s no
wonder the combination of an immodestly dressed model and a man’s visual senses
are a lethal combination and a huge money maker for businesses.
I’ve
personally wrestled with whether men are fully accountable for the ways they
objectify women or whether it’s a mutual effort. While I do feel we as men
shouldn’t harbor all the blame, I do
think we should take ownership of having full responsibility for our own
actions.
Blessed
John Paul II once said, “Christ has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity
of every woman; and simultaneously, he also assigns to every woman the dignity
of every man.” I’m sure this is a quote many of you have heard on numerous
occasions. However, I think it’s a particularly important one to mention when
discussing our relationships with the women in our lives. Men, our part of the
bargain is laid out very simply; we are responsible for protecting and guarding
the dignity of ALL women.
What
does this look like? It’s more than just not objectifying them. It’s not
stealing glances at the pretty girl jogging. It’s also proving that chivalry
isn’t dead by opening doors – even for women we don’t know. It’s honoring them
by speaking highly of them even when they aren’t in the vicinity. It’s praying
for them on a daily basis. It’s reminding them of their value and worth. It’s
being intentional about your actions. It’s telling them they’re beautiful over
and over and over again because, frankly, it’s true.
Let’s
look back at JPII’s quote. It sounds like this responsibility is a two-way
street, right? That’s because it is. However, let’s compare it with the ways a
husband loves his wife, a father loves his children, and Christ loves each of
us. When Christ died for us, He didn’t just expect us to return that love; hence,
we have free will which allows us to decide between returning that love or not.
Certainly, this doesn’t mean we’re off the hook and we can just choose to
ignore the sacrifice He gave us either. Christ loves each and every one of us
with an agape (unconditional) love. That means He’s going to love us regardless
of whether we choose to return that love or not. Similarly, a Godly husband
loves his wife whether she deserves his love or not. The same goes for a father
and his children. This also applies to how we defend the dignity of women.
I
used to complain that our struggle with objectifying women stemmed mostly from
the way many women today dress and speak and the ads that are thrown in our
face every day. But that does not give us the right to overlook our
responsibilities as men. Just because a woman makes a conscious decision to
dress provocatively (and not all of the women you encounter will even tempt you by dressing this way) does not give us the right to infringe on her dignity. On
the contrary, it is our responsibility to hold ourselves doubly accountable for
our actions. You know the old adage: “Two wrongs don’t make a right." We can
only control our half of the relationship with a woman. Regardless of the
response we get in return, we are called to show all women that agape love
through our actions and conversations. No matter if you’re talking to your best friend,
girlfriend, wife, or mother, make sure you’re holding up your end of the
bargain by respecting and honoring her dignity. We need more men in this world
who courageously stand up for their sisters in Christ, whether it’s the easy
thing to do or not.
Men,
by challenging each other to live lives of heroic virtue and inviting Christ
into our relationships with everyone, especially women, we can crush the enemy’s
lies and build up a new generation founded in Christ’s love.
I’m
praying for you as you pray for me.
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