In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes, "He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
It's one of the most commonly used phrases in the Christian circle: "I will boast in my weakness". But what exactly does this mean? What does it mean to "boast in your weakness"? This is one area of my faith I've never fully been able to wrap my head around. For a while, I just thought it meant that we shouldn't be ashamed of the ways in which we feel inadequate. Notice I said feel, not are. However, this semester at OSU, God has slowly been revealing to me a little bit of what boasting in my weakness really means. I don't have a degree in Theology or Catechetics so you'll have to bear with me a little bit on this one.
For those of you who don't know, I'm part of a Catholic group on campus called Saint Paul's Outreach. Their motto is "Catholic faith alive on campus". They're huge on the new evangelization and reaching out to anyone and everyone, but especially those who haven't yet encountered Christ in their lives. I'm a bit of a timid personality at first which makes evangelization difficult. I'm often consumed with negative opinions about myself and how my different quirks will be interpreted by others. It's by far one of my greatest weaknesses and often leaves me afraid of introducing myself to new people. As you might expect, you can't lead others to Christ when you don't even introduce yourself to them.
A few weekends ago, SPO held their annual Fan Into Flame retreat. I attended for the first time. Without going too much in to detail about the weekend, I want to share one experience I had and how I've grown from that and learned to boast in my weakness when it comes to evangelizing. On the second night, we had a prayer meeting that closed with small group prayer. While my group was praying over me, I fully surrendered all of the walls I had built up that kept me from trusting in God's Will and just prayed that He would help me to become a better disciple. At one point, one of the SPO leaders said he thought God wanted me to receive the gift of tongues and asked if I'd be open to it. At any other time, I would have thought, "I guess so but I don't really believe that can happen. Not to me anyway." It turns out I was right. But it was about more than whether or not I would receive that gift. The true grace that night came when I give Him my "yes" with absolutely no reserves and full confidence that through God's power, it was actually possible.
That night is when I finally started to wrap my mind around what it means to boast in my weakness. I had all this doubt about my ability to allow the Holy Spirit to work through me. I focused on all the weaknesses I had which kept me thinking I was less than extraordinary. I doubted God's power to provide for me in the ways in which I fell short. But that night, I boasted in my weakness. I turned to Christ and I said, "God, there is no way I'm capable of doing this myself, but I believe that if I surrender completely to Your Will, there isn't anything I can't do."
This is just one example of what it means to truly boast in your weakness. It's not saying that you are proud of your shortcomings. It's not a way of becoming content with mediocrity. Rather, it's admitting that we aren't perfect and we don't have it all together, but combined with God's Will, His name will be glorified through our actions and through our words. When Paul writes that "I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses", he isn't saying he's happy to have inadequacies; rather, he's rejoicing in the fact that because of those inadequacies, he has the opportunity to bring glory to God.
The fact that we are all flawed human beings is not by coincidence. If you and I were perfect, we'd be God and we wouldn't be glorifying His name. God made us knowing full well that we would never be able to reach His level of perfection, not because he wants us to suffer and wallow in self-pity, but in order to give us the opportunity to unite with his most Sacred Heart and give ours lives back to him. Again, as Paul said, "[God's] grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." We can only reach the level of holiness Christ is calling us to by taking the lives He has given us and giving it right back to Him. We must surrender our entire beings to Him who created us. If we focus on trying to accomplish everything ourselves, we're destined to fall flat on our face time and time again. God's grace is sufficient for you! Once we acknowledge that we do have weaknesses and submit our lives to God, His power will work through us, His sons and daughters, in order conform us perfectly with His Will for each of us.
As I close, I just encourage you to pinpoint the areas of your life that you know you have weaknesses. Maybe you struggle interpreting God's word. Maybe you get uncomfortable when asked to pray out loud with a small group. Maybe you don't have the greatest voice and feel self-conscious singing during Mass or praise and worship. Whatever those weaknesses are, I urge you not to let those weaknesses make you feel inferior. God loves you exactly the way you are. After all, He created you. I promise, if you take those struggles and lay them at the foot of the cross, God will respond in power and majesty. Let us follow in the footsteps of our Blessed Mother when she was called by God: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38)
As always, my readers are continually in my prayers.
Praying for you as you pray for me.
